I pretend

I'm a miserable fucking human being. I pretend to be so much more interesting that I really am. I pretend to know more than I know. I pretend to laugh more than I laugh. I pretend to smile more than I smile. I pretend to feel more than I feel. I pretend to care about you. I pretend that I feel any goddamed emotion at all. I pretend that I'm sad. I pretend that I cry. I pretend that I see what I am and what I have become. I pretend to know when to stop. I pretend to breathe. I pretend. I pretend because I don't know what else to do. Happiness is an illusion. One that I'll never fully realize.

I want to fucking shut up and just live for ONE goddamned minute of my life.

My body is tired. My mind is tired. My heart breaks for a thousand imagined offenses. A thousand cold stares from across the room. A thousand breaths I could have taken. A thousand days I could have lived. A thousand minutes, a thousand seconds. A thousand and one million mistakes that can never be taken back. Anonymous